Wednesday, 11 April 2012

Why I write today............

There are several reasons why people sing, there are also several reasons why I write.
 I write to get my emotions flowing. I have a way of connecting my inner self with my physical self.
I write because I see weight in words, I see love in poems and I feel peace in songs.
I write because I cannot make everyone stay and listen to me talk.
 I write because I am honest to my pen and paper, I don’t lie to these.
I write because it brings out my tears and makes them flow freely.
 I write because I have seen people smile at my written pieces.
 I write to connect with situations.
Situations come and go but I have learnt that pain, emotional pain is traumatizing.
 I write to kill trauma by unveiling it to the readers.
I write to ask for help from the one who reads the writing at the tablet of my heart when I cry.
Today I write to reach out to those in abusive relationships.
I sat next to a woman this morning who had nothing but trauma on her face and pain in her heart. She did not have to say it, I saw it.
She wanted to share it, I listened.
She had undergone the most embarrassing and traumatizing ordeal from her husband of 10 years. She had been stripped naked in front of her kids and beaten, then raped. I repeat, in front of her kids!!
She was not ashamed by that, not at all. What was the shameful thing, she said, was that she had let it go on for the last 8 years of her life!!
 8 years of constant pain!!
She had now decided to leave. Leave for the unknown. She had her two children 10 and 8 yrs old.
Innocent kids had experienced emotional torture at a tender age, for nothing.
She said she held on to hope each day that he would reform. She stayed for the kids.
 I was agape the whole time. And I wished I could write the tears away. She has had to leave eventually, with 8 years wasted!!
For what?? !!
She has nothing to show for it but pain!! She stayed for the kids, then what? She has had to leave with them!!
She stayed for hope, but now the only hope she had was a new life!!
I did not judge her, rather I pitied her for lack of strength to leave the “comfort zone” which is totally ironical, to the land of the unknown which i presume would have been more tollerable if not comfortable.
 I wish to refer to the good book. When God asked Abraham to leave his land, he sent him to an unknown land. That unknown, was eventually the land of great produce and fertility.
What if he stayed back in hope that his land would one day become productive? What if he stayed for he did not want the inconvenience of relocating with his family?
He had all the options, but I believe that that small, still, inner voice that speaks to us, was the same that spoke to him. He obeyed. Things are not any different. Our conscious is constantly warning us not to stay in abusive relations ships, but we silence it by invoking hope. Fake hope I would say. Because all I would hope for this woman is happiness which I now wish, for we have lost the present time, is that she gets the strength to pursue happiness.
Many girls will die innocent deaths just because they hoped the abusive relationships will transform.
Your happiness is compromised for years, and you eventually die for nothing!!
Leaving him will make you a heroine in his eyes and he will hate you for being a strong woman!! But you will always thank you self for not denying yourself the ultimate happiness of an abuse free relationship.
Happiness is worked for, many are born into riches but they die of stress.
Some have fulfilling careers but they are not happy. Some have beautiful babies but they don’t see the innocent smile of that baby, instead they see the bastard why hit them and run.
Happiness is an everyday short term goal that many do not work hard enough to achieve.
Happiness is in smiling before you make others smile, not making others smile while you cry.
Today I write to give you strength to pursues self happiness.
I write to give you strength to give life to your years on earth.
This is why i write today.

Tuesday, 3 April 2012

BIG IS BEAUTIFUL………………


BIG IS BEAUTIFUL………………


So today am stealing office time to kiss my blog, I missed you baby.

This kinda makes me feel a little lesbian. (this blog is female) but huh It’s not the first time am doubting my own sexuality. It has happened to me severally. #that awkward moment when u r a lil gay#

That is totally a story for no day, I won’t discuss such not now and maybe never, no guilt though, just a little discretion.

Today I really want to pour out my heart and appreciate a breed of persons many people wish not to appreciate. People look at these very lovely breed in a harsh way. I don’t know, but that discrimination against plus sized girls are what I want to shed light on. I do not want to fight for their rights, no. That is not it, they have them, and no one denies them that. But rather I want to bring them to the position they deserve in the society. I want to put them on top, because I have taken very much time to look into the society and now I know, better than before.

The other day I went to a church service that was rather unique. It was a talent show kind of thing. Most of the presentations were actually voice presentations in form of songs. To my surprise, all and I make all the songs that were sung were totally mind blowing. It was the kind of voice you cannot ignore, the kind that is ooh so smooth.  

What totally caught my attention was that all these beautiful voices belonged to plus sized girls. All of them!!
 The slim ones had voices but just that, voices. The plus sized ones had a touch of connection in their voices. They would connect directly with ones’ heart and melt it right away.

That whole week, I decided to look at the inner person in big girl, and the people I found in them, are the most beautiful. Do you ever realize how cute faced plus sized girls are? They all have these lovely pretty faces that show care and love even when they don’t intend to? Yea you cannot deny that.
Plus sized girls stick to one relationship longer than their slim counter parts. That is true, argue all you want, but these girl are keepers.

I have also realized that plus sized girls have very genuinely unique personalities. They give a touch of self and passion in all they do. If she is saying hi she does it with a smile. Thin girls like to wave and sneer at the same time, what a contrast, who told you to say hi in the first place. Nkt!!

Plus sized girls have hearty laughs, they have a laugh that means happiness, they enjoy the moment. Thin girls, struggle to get noticed so much that they would rather giggle than let go and let laugh. They think it will taint their image. If you are so cute being slim, why do you struggle to get noticed?

On struggling to get noticed, every heard thin girls engaging each other in a conversation about a big girl and they go like;  ”who will even notice her?” Pause for a moment and think. Ever realized how a cute plus sized girl attracts attention just by being themselves with nothing much added? Especially on the dance floor, these girls do not even have to shake it. Thin ones almost break their bones. So, “who will even notice her?”

I don’t know why our men here keep saying they are looking for a laptop girl while in the first place they stare at every big behind that goes past them and even make it a topic of discussion for the rest of the time till another one passes by. Do not try to be westernized in your talk while your actions are still deeply rooted in Africa, if you can match it up, well and good but we all know you love big, big is good. That is what most of the men whom I engaged in this discussion told me unknowingly I would blog about. They even said when you go big, you will never go small. So why the denial? Please love them and show it, it is no offence to. If you loved skinny girls so much, I wonder why we have more skinny women being single than plus sized girls.

Skinny bitches on the other hand, are just that, Skinny bitches!!
I thought about the phrase “You skinny bitch!!” Well it must have had an origin.



Tuesday, 27 March 2012

Dear Girl up there,

Lately, i have been going through a time i would wish to label as the hardest in my life. I want to call it the hardest since i cannot fathom harder times. I will break, if I do, maybe emotionally or physically even. For  I have suffered backaches, headaches and swollen feet.I had my ego drenched off all its juice. I went dry of all the things I would tag dignity to...........
I have learnt that humility is actually an uplifting virtue.
I have cried, something even break ups do not make me do.I have made decisions that will change the radar of my future.I have met people who have changed how I look at life, Now I know the rainbow does not always appear when it rains with some sunshine and at times, it appears but it is meant for some people not all.That is why we are not the same, some smile in the rain while others run away from the heavy drops, some dance in it while others use it to hide their tears.I tried to hide mine, but the tear drops were heavier than the rain drops.So many people noticed them. But nobody cared.I have learnt that growing up sucks and that its a journey one takes alone, I needed solace, I got none.I have been been through it all and all I cared was to keep the smile on the face of the girl over the rainbow. Life down here is hard, but I shall always try my best to keep you smiling even when the colors of the rainbow are grey.

I value your smile.You are the best thing that ever happened to me, it is for you that I never gave up these last weeks of my life that have been so trying.

Friday, 2 March 2012

Mirror on the wall

With everything happening today
You don’t know whether you’re coming or going
But you think that you’re on your way
Life lined up on the mirror dont blow it
Look at me when I’m talkin to you
You looking at me but I’m lookin through you

I see the blood in your eyes
I see the love in disguise
I see the pain hidden in your pride
I see you’re not satisfied
And I don’t see nobody else
I see myself I’m looking at the
Mirror on the wall, here we are again
Through my rise and fall
You’ve been my only friend
You told me that they can understand the man I am
So why are we here talkin’ to each other again

Oh, I see the truth in your lies
I see nobody by your side
but I’m with you when you re all alone
And you correct me when Im lookin wrong
I see that guilt beneath the shame
I see your soul through your window pain
I see the scars that remain
I see you Phil, I’m lookin at the..

Mirror on the wall, here we are again
Through my rise and fall
You’ve been my only friend
You told me that they can understand the man I am
So why are we here talkin’ to each other again
Lookin at me now I can see my past
Damn I look just like my f-ckin dad

Light it up, thats smokin’ mirrors
I even look good in the broken mirror
I see my momma smile thats a blessing
I see the change, I see the message
and no message could been any clearer
So I’m stared with the man in the…

Mirror on the wall, here we are again
Through my rise and fall
You’ve been my only friend
You told me that they can understand the man I am
So why are we here talkin’ to each other again
uh…

Mirror on the wall, here we are again
Through my rise and fall
You’ve been my only friend
You told me that they can understand the man I am
So why are we here talkin’ to each other again (so why are we talkin to each other again?)
Mirror on the wall.

Thursday, 23 February 2012

No Woman, No cry

So now the debate is heated up and all the blame is on the Nyeri women. I have been waiting for it to settle and the dust just wont settle. After all, they seem to be the only women instilling discipline in their husbands the brutal way apart from the recent case of A Meru lady who just murdered her husband. Now, now, now I do not know what the problem may be but my head will not stop at these women being just violent.
No, it is a known thing that every woman is polite, slow to anger unless provoked to a certain level. Levels do vary and am beginning to wonder if in Kenya they vary with the region of origin. huh!!
 So if you are from the slopes of Mt. Kenya, you get to the peak of anger at a faster rate than those at the shores of the lake? Or the Rift, or which ever side?

I am starting to wonder if these men who report these violence cases ever sit to look at themselves and be sure that they are really of the male species(no pun intended). I was brought up in a society where I knew a man is a man.By being a man, it meant that one had to put his acts together including the wrong ones to make them look right. Even when they are wrong, you could justify yourself by just being a man!!
 Undergoing the cut was the best of all rights since it made being a man all so glorious.
So I am a bit confused when these "victims" of domestic violence go public to taint the glory of manhood. Why should a man be beaten by a woman? Firstly, you are a man, this should not even happen, you should have been man enough to behave like one which would definitely have never allowed your woman to even conceive a thought of raising a hand against you.She would respect you because you have earned it!! You are the man in her life!! Be a man!!

Secondly, I talked about women and their anger levels, men are clueless, that we know but who does not know what makes his wife angry? If you do not then you have no business calling yourself her husband!! You know she does not like when you come home late or without a kaquater of meat. well then if you choose to do it, just have a good lie........you are a man this is easy to do. I mean you are a man.
It is is lack of creativity that will land you in trouble yet you have a man's brain. It lies even when the lips are telling the truth ( Ever seen a man swearing you are the only thing he thinks of and his eyes are so fixed on that ass passing by?).Use your brain before it turns into a vestigial organ! Tell that smart lie and you will smile you way out of trouble.

The only reason i would beat a man( ooh yes i would ) is if he is a cry baby........Jesus!! Yes I am in love with Alehandro and I love when he cries and sobs but who told you Alehandro's second name is Kamau? I mean, African men are supposed to be strong, stand up for their women , have the authority and be the man at all times. This way, a woman will always see strength in you, she will never in her right mind think of battering you. But go ahead and cry, whine and be a woman about stuff then I think she has the right to wear the pants in the relationship!!

I am not advocating for wife battering but seriously, if your woman is on the rampage, she is embarrassing you. Not herself, women are known to lose their head (hahahaha is there anything like a female chauvinist?) shape her or spare the rod and spoil the wife, who will pass it on to the child!!

Lastly, dear men, women are the simplest to understand,  because you really don't have to understand them, just love them.Love solves all problems, so love your woman.

If you cannot do any of the above, keep away from women. No woman, No cry!!


Monday, 6 February 2012

Good Times Seemed to Have Left

As i sat right next
He stared, perplexed
Eyes all wet
Life can make you its pet
Situations make you turn left
As all good things left

He had his hand cuffed
Ego slapped
He talked of hope
Hoped situations would be turned
I looked at him and turned
I looked left
All good things seemed to have left

Yes he sat on my right
Said he got into a fight
He was only going through the plight
Of fighting a good fight
When all good things left
And for the dead he was left

He always made his daily bread
In harsh struggles as he was bred
But as the argument bred
The governments hand fled
And landed him almost dead
In blood drenched

They said he was a hooligan
He even had a gun
And he was gunned down
Up the reporters run
The news bulletin had to run

He was just a good gunner
a daily bread earner
Struggling to keep the burner
For the tunnel was darker
Bad times lasted longer

And there he sat looking left
I was at his left
His only mistake was hard work
He turned and stared to the left
As all good times seemed to have left




It Gets Worse

It gets worse
Waking up is easy
dressing in a smile is not.
Hope is expensive
It belongs to the pensive
Walking down a dark road is scary

Not walking is worse
Judging. That's what they do
Empty promise, what they give
Bribes, what they need
Not belonging to them is scary

Belonging is even worse
Blood is not thicker than water
Only if the blood is to be poured
They are all green eyed
To them, your success is scary

Success is worse still
They will expect a lot
You have to give back
Here blood is thicker
But death is scary

Death is the worst
They will fight over the dead
They wish to drown is your sweat
They forget they drenched you in tears
Those blood thirsty vipers!
Watching them in absentia
That is more scary


Wednesday, 1 February 2012

Imperfect is Beautiful

Happy New Month

I am happy its a new month. Its the month of love and my sincere hope is that i do not spend this Valentines day alone. It has not happened in a long time so am not sure i remember how to be single on a red labelled day with kisses blowing past my nose.Lord hear us..........

Last month was awesome, I had my birthday party on the last weekend of it and what?!! We rocked it. I got good friends who make me succumb to peer pressure, i love peer pressure, its the best presuure to be exerted on any young person.

That aside, yesterday being the last day of the month was not as happy as anybody would anitcipate. I spent the whole day depressed, i felt down cast, wanted to walk alone (yet am a Liverpool fan) and wrote three sad poems.(I will post them later, too happy to do it now). I dint know what was going on till I met my sister in the evening and she was in the same mood-Depression!! We had to get a solution, or maybe the cause. Two minds are good, we had it in a minute, it was that girl!!

The kind of person whose life is next to perfect if not it. The girl who makes all girls feel like their lives are screwed up and crooked. She condemns her audience without saying a word.
The girl am talking about has had a good life: Used to lead in school for all the days she was  in it, scooped the best grade in high school, got a good job as she waited to join campus, at campus she persued a good course, passed well enough to work in one of the leading private well paying institutions in the country.
The intimidating part is when one rekons that they attended the same school with her.

Lets go on with listing the perfect areas of this life: she has a very loving and handsome man. Tall dark and handsome, thats what am talking about!! This is no movie, its a true story...........
The true story that one feels like saying " based on a true story" for emphasis.

She made us think about how unfocussed we are, how in these girls's eyes we are just imperfect failures and how far, just how far we seem to be from getting a perfect man considering our imperfections. Top on the list being our common one: fear of commitment. It was not funny. We had met this girl and she made us think deeply about our lives. Depression was the result. On that day i saw many sad people on the streets, i saw poor beggers i even tried shopping and felt there was nothing to buy.

We talked about it and thought we were simply being stupud!!

How ugly would the world be without that person who used to be so silly in class that all  the questions they asked sent a roar of laughter in class? How boring would it be if there was no that night, due to imperfections you went out, had a crush on some guy and made out in an ATM lobby?
Just how peredictable would you be if you dint surprise your parents with a baby bum at the age of 17 due to your imperfections?And am sure that baby has turned out to be the most beatiful thing in your life!
Dont you just love the way you were once last in your class and all your friends abandoned you only for to receive an award for "best improved student" when the next exam results were out?
Do you remember the time you dated a guy who was shorter than you all because he was a good dancer and you wanted the fame?
Do you remember being your true self when you fell on stage trying out a modelling career?
Isnt randomness awesomeness?
Don't you think its time me loved appreciated our failures as a beautiful part of our lives?


We came to a conclusion, its so good to be yourself, its so good to never compare yourself and its so hard to look at life through other peoples eyes since all you see is imperfection.

So today i wore my imperfect eyes, and i saw an albino beggar breastfeeding her baby. It was the most beautiful sight as the baby had the pigment and fed from an un-pigmented gland. Black and white is a perfect combination.. I dint get any successful client, but it did not feel like a failure i was happy to have stepped in those big offices and spent time with people who matter in society. I met a friend who had just had a job promotion and we went for two tequila shots to celebrate.I  bought my self a pair of flowered wedge shoes on my way home, i did not feel like a shopaholic, it felt the perfect thing to do.

 Happy new month

Tuesday, 24 January 2012

My opinion on Nairobi's most bangable dudes


I got news about two weeks ago that someone somewhere had sat down and come up with a list of most bangable dudes in Nairobi.
Well, its pretty normal that i wanted to feed my eyes with pictures of these hotties but i got a bit of disappointment.Though not totaly, i have gaps i want to fill.
I have tried to keep this to myself but its itching me like women itch with hot gossip so am gonna go through that list and give my honest opinion. its my opinion, deal with it!!

10. ANTONIO ABRANCHES CASMIRO.

This is good, hot sexy six pack that i want to lick ice-cream from. I look and wish id get a hug.That alone will send me to Mexico and back feeling like some MarieChui in the making.So yes lets face it, we are talking about Nairobis, most bangable could we just stick to our home made stuff? Thankyou

o

9. MC TAIO TRIPPER AKA MATHEW WAKHUNGU

 

 Yea its camp Mullah, the voice and all the swag but what about outside the music video? aaah he does not give me the rush, like rush, nooooooooooo wish it was the other Camp Mulla guy that i would give a bit of ..........yea that is if i was just out of high school!! Well am not.Moving on....

8.DAVIDSON NGIBUINI

 Wow, yes this is where we start to agree, yes the lips are kissable, eyes are calling and the swag is dripping. He is a bangable banger in deed any time DNG

7.JOSEPH DAVID KIMEU

 This guy is good looking truth be told, he is all that a woman is looking for in a man, and definitely his generation cant be of thwaks so u aint risking not passing on your beauty by settling for him. U get my drill? he is husband material not bangable thing!!

Looking at him him u see kids and a wedding not a wild moment that will leave wondering why the little heavens on earth dont last forever. Oooh en he is a 1st year soooooooo Yea .

6.LEAKEY ODERA

Really? cmon...............

5.JASON DURNFORD

 

Women can say much in a sigh then in a million words. #SIGH#


4.MACDONALD MARIGA

 

 No sexual appeal at all, lets face it the only reason i would bang this guy is for money totally!! he got the mulla so yes, makes his NOT bangable but dig gable: for gold


3.CHRIS KIRUBI AKA DJ CK

 What would make a 70 yr old man bangable? what?what?!

Who came up with this list?!



2.PETER KENNETH 

 Hot sexy man, lovely smile good ideologies and definately a keeper every woman would want this man for keeps. I think he is too sweet to be a banger jus like that but he is nailable, admirable and lovable#mushy#

It was said beauty met brains, yes in deed! 

1. IAN MUGOYA

 

Oooh my goodness, this is what i have been wating for: A bangable dude without blemish. No need finding a reason to bang, he is one by default!! Hot eyes,lips that speak a womans language jus by looking at them, swag like he means to be it, confidence like all bangers should have.

I mean, no woman needs to find a reason to bang this one. I had to put up two picture one side's view aint just enough to drive the message home.


So there it is, my honest opinion about the list on Nairobi's most bangables. Phew!! Its now off my chest but before i go away, i have tried to make my list of most bangables and i could not seem to go beyond one, or maybe two but i only wished to give one name because it deserves to be on the above list.

1.MUNENE MUTUMA

Baby locks are my all time turn on, hate it or love it and i know he got rid of them but it made him look even better. I know i speak for many girls out there when i say he deserved to be listed right after number one if the above list was made by a girl.(in my head he is still top on the list)

I totally think the list was made by a man no girl can make so many erroneous bangs lol!!


There you go, i would have made it to ten only if i wanted to tell the other 9 guys that i suffer from stupid crush disease and its chronic when the victim is too hott!! This is only meant to stay between me and my the crush therapist: my alter ego!!

 


 

Sunday, 22 January 2012

Don make me say goodbye

Please don't make me cry
Fighting tears i try
Life's hardship. it preys
I don't want to say
don make me say goodbye


Every morning i pray
take the hard way 
i try
mind ravaged, thoughts by
 like a harlots genitals
after a night ugly


fear as time passes by
love whisked away
hours stroll by
ill have to say
goodbye i will say


it might be a pair
life is not fair 
a pair i cannot bear
pain is what i will bear
bare
that's how i walked
into the future i peer
with a sober mind
 i must appear


let go i must
take the road less passed
make pain a past
pray time moves fast
soon it will be a first
 then i run fast
the sad memories past
say goodbye i must


Friday, 20 January 2012

Recap 2011

Tried my hand in acting, damn! talent is inborn i tell you, growing into it is quite a task!!
Did exactly what i have always wanted to do with my first salary.Went on vacation. Awesome!!

Though we broke up, i saw myself last through the longest relationship. 2yrs was a record time,  i   like. 
I did appear on t.v ha!! i still have the clip

I fought a guy in a club, am not proud of it, but am proud i that nobody can take advantage of   my   sister while i am around.

I became a godmother to Charlene, my friends daughter.I cant wait to buy her ice cream when she is all grown. I love her

I picked a healthy new habit: I now take sugar free tea.

I saw my mum fall in love.I wish her all the happiness in the world, how lucky il be if they marry , not many people have have a father and a dad both alive.lol!!

I fell in love with a guy i might never have the guts to tell how i feel

I graduated.Glory!!

Monday, 16 January 2012

Look good. If not for you, for him!!

Ohh boy, its been a while since i blogged been fixing a few things here and there and in the course of my fixing I noticed several things in the society where i hail from and they needed immediate attention. The sad part is, its not my duty to fix that, but somebody has to tell ladies that getting a guy to settle for u or down with you is not the end of 'looking good era'!
If you cannot maintain your own swag, please, please keep up with your man's.
It totally pissed me off when i met this dude i used to know back in campus days, he was ahead of me so u can be sure he's now glowing as his wallet width thickens by the month.
He pursed Medicine. Doctor it is.Forget about the strike, these guys got cash, at least to maintain a girl's hair, nails, looks and what have you.
We go about our usual"hi how have u been? Whats new, blah blah and walaah! dude shows me a ring" Alright you are married, 'congratulations when do i get to meet the lucky gal?' , And the bombshell is dropped, she is right there with him.
Braids that looked like they were made in May and we were in the Christmas period, an alice band that was not helping hide the dirty, unkempt rope looking stands was all she had as an accessory.Yea lets add the wedding ring! A long black skirt whose length unless for religious reasons was a total waste of material.(I could have made a dress, a skirt and two alice band out of that skirt!!).
The hot weather not withholding, the doctor's wife had a long beige sweater.Long enough for one to wear with leggings during a cold night in some up country ceremony like 'maombolezi'.Yes it was that bad. I do not wish to talk about the obvious flat plastic shoes. WTF!! Your man has a car, girl rock em 6inch and above.......leave the freaky flats to people who have to walk all over town trying to get a matatu, line up for hours on end, and eventually maybe run after it!!  
I wanted to slap the girl. Not for anything but because she was forcing this guy to cheat on her.
Men are visual beings, they are attracted to hot, sexy, shiny, attractive beautiful things. It is your duty as a doctor's wife to make sure that you are the most attractive thing around him. How many hot patients do you think this guy attends to?
It will not be his fault at all, it will never be if this guy is attracted to what he deserves.
With all due respect, this is a doctor i am talking about, his looks do not matter the guy is a well earning average Kenyan whose got swag just by profession.The society expects you as a doctor's wife of girlfriend to at least look the part.
If you cannot look good for you, look good for him.
There is no point looking like a house girl in his mothers house and calling Maina every morning to say how your man does not come home. OOh by the way all Maina will say is, 'I cant believe what am hearing, call me, my number is............, Jesus!!' Yea that's the furthest it can go woman!!So get your act right!!
Great week ahead!!

Wednesday, 11 January 2012

My love is in love

There was a time when she seemed not to have an emotional side,
toughness would only make her an iron lady.
Time and chance does happen to them all, i have realized.
the iron lady is melting in the heat of the moment
i pray is the heat lasts forever.

She is living a teenage dream,
speed dial,that's where his number is located
more like emergency. love does actually have those,
the smile when she reads his text,
cute pink cheeks will make an appearance when u mention his name.
Love is so not choosy, not even with age.
the result?age is now advancing directly un-propotional to the looks.

Glowing skin, lighter heart
ooh and fashionably awesome clad,
weird questions on what make up suits,
late night calls and coming home late.

I am left to play her role
She now plays the teenager in love part
Am not so good a mother so i let her do her thing

I will break his nose if he breaks her heart
I love how she looks younger
how she has many bouts of laughter a day
Love is truly a wonderful thing

Am not sure i will let her go away,
i still want to be her number one love

Ohh yes am selfish
i want to have her for myself
don't want her to go
but its not for me to decide.
I will put my eyes back on and look at her
as i would a friend in love.

Be Unorthodox

Take the course opposite to custom
You will almost do well

Think different......If you follow the crowd,
the place you will most likely end up at is the exit.

Stop bending to the demands of the social pressure at the expense of your uniqueness
Let your heart drive you
Not public opinion

Take the road less traveled....
Find success beyond your wildest dreams.

Read everyday what  no one else is reading...
Think everyday what no one else is thinking...
Its bad for the mind to always be a part of unanimity.

Its easy for the world to live after our own..
 but the great man is the one who...
In the midst of a crowd ...
Keeps with perfect sweetness
The independent solitude

Be bold,
Be real,
Be Unorthodox.

Tuesday, 10 January 2012

Of Dreams and Fantasies.......................

Did you think it involved just that, dreaming, like seeing yourself on the cover of your favorite magazine, receiving the keys to a car or a house, visualizing yourself accepting the cheers of your adoring fans?
 Well i suppose some dreams are like that-the ones that you don't really expect to come true.
Those nice, airy-fairy dreams of winning Wimbledon when you've never played tennis in your life or meeting Denzel Washington by chance and knocking his feet from under him with your charm and beauty (never mind that you are happily married, because in dreams like these practicalities don't count).
There is nothing wrong with dreaming, even the impractical fantasies you know will never come true.
Imagination is a powerful tool in problem solving, in testing different scenarios before you commit yourself to a plan of action.Imagination is a creative power, playing an important role in designing a dress, deciding the colour of your new house, or planning the menu for a party.And I believe that imagining the success at the end of a quest plays an important role in motivating you to actually do something to make that fantasy scene reality.
And this is where you need to be careful.The familiar saying, be careful what you wish for, lest it comes true, applies to all of us at some stage of our lives.What happens when a dream comes true?
There you were, innocently dreaming of becoming famous and, the next thing you know, your picture  is in the tabloids and you,re having to answer awkward questions. You thought you really wanted to enroll for a higher degree, and now that you have realized you don't have time to do your course justice, and your heading for and embarrassment.
In spite of all these little surprises, we need those dreams.So when the demands of life are just a little too realistic, spend some time day dreaming, before you go on to face the next challenge.

Friday, 6 January 2012

First times........

Ooh so its day two and this feeling within me which was born yesterday as soon as this blog came to life is still shedding its skin so its fair to say its still new and vibrant. Am talking about that feeling that a 4yr old girl would get if she got a new pair of red pumps (back in the 90's) i specified the time since i realized they no longer wear those. i had a pair and the day i got them i slept in them, yes i did!! Its was a ritual to show total gratitude to the giver of the gift. So i almost slept in my blog if it was possible am grateful to whoever came up with this technology.I kept checking how many followers i have but yea it gonna take some time to gather a crowd this is not like some riot in campus, (funny how one hooligan gathers a crowd within a minute and they do not know what is the reason for the season) ill miss campus life!!

Its 2012, yea and its all about making a difference, facing fears and doing a new thing.So today i did two things for the first time, lets talk about the longest 15 minutes of my entire life..................I went through a whole day to bring myself to accept the fact that its time i did it. That not with holding, i had to sit through it with a deaf attendant and all i did was write down my problem by then. I think writing is a bit therapeutic but nothing will ever beat the cold sweat of waiting to know your status.Self acceptance, new dreams, new friends just in case, huh i hated the way he kept asking 'are you ready? 'Who would ever be ready?!

First visit to the spa was awesome, my face feels fresh, skin feels lighter and i cant help but feel special. They say beauty boosts confidence heheh am a notch higher,be warned!! So i will do many things for the first time this year, i will ask a guy out before too long. Fine this is totally not my style, but its also not a common occurrence in my world that an averagely hot guy of normal Kenyan background gives me such a reception. Ok not like all guys i have had a crush on i date,no.Thing is, i even don't have a crush on him no, he doesn't make me shiver when i see him (am trying to convince myself ), he makes me want to make breakfast for him. He actually makes me want to carry his kids. God!! Given this guy for a one night stand, id not touch him even for a million bucks!! I want him to grow old with me, so id let him have the time of his life with hot sassy women of all ages, and when he is done, simply ask him how many children he would like....................OMG that actually sounds sick and i think i need to sleep.

Thursday, 5 January 2012

Something about the rainbow...........

We all love the rainbow.
Think about it, the magical combination of colors, the unpredictable visits that do not last long enough to satisfy yearn for a natural beauty, the way one can dance in the rain with the rainbow right above your head as these drops are actually lighter, fall on the skin so tenderly and they tend to sparkle..........long live rainbow!!
When i was a little girl all i wanted was to sit on the rainbow and actually watch the world stare at me as they did at the rainbow. For whatever reason, coincidence, nature's plan or Gods, my first school was "Rainbow Pre Primary" now that am grown and i know i cannot sit on it, i want to fly over it, so high.
Something about the rainbow, its my first blog story as it was the name of my first school, so lets do this..........yeeeeaaa day one as a blogger!!