Time Out

Happy New Year!!

Its been a long long time. One child down the line is what I am talikng.

It was like a truth or dare kind of life. Its great to have out done myself.

I missed everything. Its will be an alive blog.

May be a whole new dimension, or may be not. But is it hard to have a new piece of cloth in your

wardrobe and not yearn to show it off.

Happy New Year

Why I write today............

There are several reasons why people sing, there are also several reasons why I write.

 I write to get my emotions flowing. I have a way of connecting my inner self with my physical self.

I write because I see weight in words, I see love in poems and I feel peace in songs.

I write because I cannot make everyone stay and listen to me talk.

 I write because I am honest to my pen and paper, I don’t lie to these.

I write because it brings out my tears and makes them flow freely.

 I write because I have seen people smile at my written pieces.

 I write to connect with situations.

Situations come and go but I have learnt that pain, emotional pain is traumatizing.

 I write to kill trauma by unveiling it to the readers.

I write to ask for help from the one who reads the writing at the tablet of my heart when I cry.

Today I write to reach out to those in abusive relationships.

I sat next to a woman this morning who had nothing but trauma on her face and pain in her heart. She did not have to say it, I saw it.

She wanted to share it, I listened.

She had undergone the most embarrassing and traumatizing ordeal from her husband of 10 years. She had been stripped naked in front of her kids and beaten, then raped. I repeat, in front of her kids!!

She was not ashamed by that, not at all. What was the shameful thing, she said, was that she had let it go on for the last 8 years of her life!!

 8 years of constant pain!!

She had now decided to leave. Leave for the unknown. She had her two children 10 and 8 yrs old.

Innocent kids had experienced emotional torture at a tender age, for nothing.

She said she held on to hope each day that he would reform. She stayed for the kids.

 I was agape the whole time. And I wished I could write the tears away. She has had to leave eventually, with 8 years wasted!!

For what?? !!

She has nothing to show for it but pain!! She stayed for the kids, then what? She has had to leave with them!!

She stayed for hope, but now the only hope she had was a new life!!

I did not judge her, rather I pitied her for lack of strength to leave the “comfort zone” which is totally ironical, to the land of the unknown which i presume would have been more tollerable if not comfortable.

 I wish to refer to the good book. When God asked Abraham to leave his land, he sent him to an unknown land. That unknown, was eventually the land of great produce and fertility.

What if he stayed back in hope that his land would one day become productive? What if he stayed for he did not want the inconvenience of relocating with his family?

He had all the options, but I believe that that small, still, inner voice that speaks to us, was the same that spoke to him. He obeyed. Things are not any different. Our conscious is constantly warning us not to stay in abusive relations ships, but we silence it by invoking hope. Fake hope I would say. Because all I would hope for this woman is happiness which I now wish, for we have lost the present time, is that she gets the strength to pursue happiness.

Many girls will die innocent deaths just because they hoped the abusive relationships will transform.

Your happiness is compromised for years, and you eventually die for nothing!!

Leaving him will make you a heroine in his eyes and he will hate you for being a strong woman!! But you will always thank you self for not denying yourself the ultimate happiness of an abuse free relationship.

Happiness is worked for, many are born into riches but they die of stress.

Some have fulfilling careers but they are not happy. Some have beautiful babies but they don’t see the innocent smile of that baby, instead they see the bastard why hit them and run.

Happiness is an everyday short term goal that many do not work hard enough to achieve.

Happiness is in smiling before you make others smile, not making others smile while you cry.

Today I write to give you strength to pursues self happiness.

I write to give you strength to give life to your years on earth.

This is why i write today.

BIG IS BEAUTIFUL………………

BIG IS BEAUTIFUL………………

So today am stealing office time to kiss my blog, I missed you baby.

This kinda makes me feel a little lesbian. (this blog is female) but huh It’s not the first time am doubting my own sexuality. It has happened to me severally. #that awkward moment when u r a lil gay#

That is totally a story for no day, I won’t discuss such not now and maybe never, no guilt though, just a little discretion.

Today I really want to pour out my heart and appreciate a breed of persons many people wish not to appreciate. People look at these very lovely breed in a harsh way. I don’t know, but that discrimination against plus sized girls are what I want to shed light on. I do not want to fight for their rights, no. That is not it, they have them, and no one denies them that. But rather I want to bring them to the position they deserve in the society. I want to put them on top, because I have taken very much time to look into the society and now I know, better than before.

The other day I went to a church service that was rather unique. It was a talent show kind of thing. Most of the presentations were actually voice presentations in form of songs. To my surprise, all and I make all the songs that were sung were totally mind blowing. It was the kind of voice you cannot ignore, the kind that is ooh so smooth.  

What totally caught my attention was that all these beautiful voices belonged to plus sized girls. All of them!!

 The slim ones had voices but just that, voices. The plus sized ones had a touch of connection in their voices. They would connect directly with ones’ heart and melt it right away.

That whole week, I decided to look at the inner person in big girl, and the people I found in them, are the most beautiful. Do you ever realize how cute faced plus sized girls are? They all have these lovely pretty faces that show care and love even when they don’t intend to? Yea you cannot deny that.

Plus sized girls stick to one relationship longer than their slim counter parts. That is true, argue all you want, but these girl are keepers.

I have also realized that plus sized girls have very genuinely unique personalities. They give a touch of self and passion in all they do. If she is saying hi she does it with a smile. Thin girls like to wave and sneer at the same time, what a contrast, who told you to say hi in the first place. Nkt!!

Plus sized girls have hearty laughs, they have a laugh that means happiness, they enjoy the moment. Thin girls, struggle to get noticed so much that they would rather giggle than let go and let laugh. They think it will taint their image. If you are so cute being slim, why do you struggle to get noticed?

On struggling to get noticed, every heard thin girls engaging each other in a conversation about a big girl and they go like;  ”who will even notice her?” Pause for a moment and think. Ever realized how a cute plus sized girl attracts attention just by being themselves with nothing much added? Especially on the dance floor, these girls do not even have to shake it. Thin ones almost break their bones. So, “who will even notice her?”

I don’t know why our men here keep saying they are looking for a laptop girl while in the first place they stare at every big behind that goes past them and even make it a topic of discussion for the rest of the time till another one passes by. Do not try to be westernized in your talk while your actions are still deeply rooted in Africa, if you can match it up, well and good but we all know you love big, big is good. That is what most of the men whom I engaged in this discussion told me unknowingly I would blog about. They even said when you go big, you will never go small. So why the denial? Please love them and show it, it is no offence to. If you loved skinny girls so much, I wonder why we have more skinny women being single than plus sized girls.

Skinny bitches on the other hand, are just that, Skinny bitches!!

I thought about the phrase “You skinny bitch!!” Well it must have had an origin.